A 2002 jaunt to Slovenia... which ended up in Sarajevo
Not my image
After a quiet winter working in a nightclub following the first Slovenian trip I decided to try and tackle my formerly failed solo route again. This time both solo and in winter. However, as always, things just never work out as planned and I ended up having a very eye opening and sobering journey into Bosnia and Croatia, which at that time were still a dangerous mess after the recently ended conflict. Tensions were high and I was arrested or followed many times. The terrain was bombed and mined and the suffering obvious. This ended up being a good training ground for some of my later trips into actively war torn Jammu and Kashmir. A generally less boastful and self important diary this one, although such elements are still present. I took few photos.
January 1st 2002, Kidderminster, 14:02
The strangeness of this life cannot be measured. In a few days’ time I will depart for another adventure mountaineering in Scotland, Italy, Slovenia, and Austria. Following my last adventure contained in my previous diary (Slovenia), I am lucky beyond words to be here at all. Some goof karmic seeds sowed I guess. Mine and a couple of other families are joining up for a New Year dinner soon. I did my last shift at the nightclub last night, finishing at a knackering 03:30. I have not been up long. It is always hard starting a new diary, and even harder keeping it, but we’ll see what happens hey.
The strangeness of this life cannot be measured. In a few days’ time I will depart for another adventure mountaineering in Scotland, Italy, Slovenia, and Austria. Following my last adventure contained in my previous diary (Slovenia), I am lucky beyond words to be here at all. Some goof karmic seeds sowed I guess. Mine and a couple of other families are joining up for a New Year dinner soon. I did my last shift at the nightclub last night, finishing at a knackering 03:30. I have not been up long. It is always hard starting a new diary, and even harder keeping it, but we’ll see what happens hey.
January 2nd 2002, Kidderminster, 23:42
Hectic day, preparing for the trip tomorrow mostly. I bought a new bag, some food, packing etc. If I fail to get the instructing post I would like in Scotland I have today been guaranteed one in Ireland, although it is not as an attractive a prospect it is a plausible alternative. I went to the cinema today to see ‘Lord of the rings’ part one, as films go it was brilliant but it left so much detail out that it left me wanting. I am a book lover first and foremost and I believe it is in literature that Lord of the Rings stands proud
the most. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.
January 3rd 2002, Fort William, 21:13
I have just arrived in Fort William, much later than I expected. I have put a call into home but I am now undecided as to whether to push for the Nevis summit tonight or leave it for tomorrow.
January 4th 2002, Ben Nevis summit, 02:59
Where, oh where do I start? It was much harder and longer than I thought to reach the summit. I tried to camp earlier but the wind was too strong. I have a possible disaster on my hands as I have lost the tent poles,
they must have fallen out somewhere on the descent. I must try to find them as it’s not my tent, although reversing tonight’s route will ruin the weeks plans, but I can make new ones I guess. Shift down into Glen Coe probably, although it will be a miracle if I find these poles again mind.
January 5th 2002, Glen Coe, 16:24
After spending the night on Nevis I retreated the next day and found the tent poles about 1km down the path. I guy I met in the morning told me how to find them. I then hitched to Glen Coe and tried to do the Aonach Eagach ridge today but got disorientated in the bad weather and ended up straying off on a side path. Not meant to be I guess. I have camped the last two nights on a hillock but I don’t know if I’m allowed to be there or not and I am expecting to get kicked off any minute. I have decided to have a rest day tomorrow.
After spending the night on Nevis I retreated the next day and found the tent poles about 1km down the path. I guy I met in the morning told me how to find them. I then hitched to Glen Coe and tried to do the Aonach Eagach ridge today but got disorientated in the bad weather and ended up straying off on a side path. Not meant to be I guess. I have camped the last two nights on a hillock but I don’t know if I’m allowed to be there or not and I am expecting to get kicked off any minute. I have decided to have a rest day tomorrow.
January 7th 2002, Invercoe, 12:21
Wow, I have just had a shower and feel great. I’m in a launderette in Invercoe. Yesterday, instead of a rest day I returned and successfully completed the Aonach Eagach ridge. Today has been my rest day. The
ridge was great, and not as hard as I remembered it, and I had great views with fine weather. However, I did have one slip and painfully banged my knee which is now bruised and quite swollen. I can still walk on it alright so I guess we’ll see how it goes. I am still sleeping and pitched on the hillock and have not been kicked off yet. It is quite a well camouflaged site and I don’t think anyone would care anyway. Weather permitting the next two days will be tough walking days, followed by a final day of rest before heading over to Lanark for my interviews. Live as you dream.
January 8th 2002, Glencoe, 16:23
I don’t know where I went today. I went to do the Pap of Glencoe, an oddly rocky summit dominating the scenery from Glencoe. It was a very low cloud base, however, with 2-5m visibility once above the cloud base, and I have to admit I got quite lost. Not taking the map with me may have played some part in that mind! I definitely got to a summit, it had a pillar and a stone walled shelter and everything, I just don’t have a clue which summit it was is all. It was certainly a very steep descent in the fog. I’ll probably never know.
January 10th 2002, Invercoe, 10:00
Absolutely wonderful day yesterday, I went up one of the Three Sisters valleys and climbed onto the central sister ridge line, summited and then descended into the next valley. Although it was very cloudy and mizzly it was very dramatic and I ended up with some wonderful, mystical views. It has made me feel really good about things and I look forward to the Alps now. Today, after finishing here in the launderette I intend to hitch to Glasgow and then go onto Lanark tomorrow for my interviews. I feel pretty indestructible in my insanity at the moment and have a positive stranglehold on life. I sometimes scare myself with my unpredictability.
January 11th 2002, Biggar, Scotland, 09:40
Urrh, I’m in a café, knackered. I got a good hitch from Glencoe all the way to Glasgow of a guy who gave me a lift to Kinlochleven last year when I was up here. Nice guy, he offered me a place to stay with him next time I am up here. I got into an argument with my mum about that on the phone mind. I spent last night freezing cold on a park bench in Lanark, a bloody endurance test of a night I can tell you. I saw the memorial to William Wallace which was cool. I’m very tired and not too sure what to expect from these interviews.
January 14th 2002, Loaningdale, Scotland, 16:12
My my, much has gone on since the last entry. I have done my interviews and I am certain they will offer me the job, the problem is I don’t want it. I have been totally unimpressed with the company. It is a shabby
centre with extremely unmotivated staff, and although the position offers very good benefits such as single accommodation, wages etc. I do not think it is enough to balance it out. I will take the job in Southern Ireland. There were only seven other candidates and I know most of them felt the same way. So, bring
on the Alps and Ireland!
January 15th 2002, Kidderminster, England, 14:58
I’m at home now, leaving for the continent tomorrow and so an inevitable day of cleaning gear and packing. I have been unable to get in touch with Delphi in Southern Ireland and so I am totally unsure of what I am doing after the Alps. Money is getting fairly tight now and I shall have to watch the finances fairly tightly over the next few weeks. Life is a real roller coaster at the moment. Lifeis a game, and a dangerous one, and if you play it safely you won’t get very far.
January 16th 2002, Kidderminster, England, 19:56
Everything is ready and I leave for London in a few hours. I have accepted and finalised the instructing contract in Southern Ireland and I leave for that on the 14th Feb, Valentine’s Day, how romantic. In
the meantime I have an alpine voyage of discovery to tackle, winter time alps, nasty, solo as usual to boot.
January 17th 2002, Kidderminster, England, 21:27
What a day. I went to Birmingham yesterday evening and found I was 24 hours behind on all my connections to Slovenia. I decided to go to London anyway to see if I could sort things out, but, no, no good. The trip has been delayed until Sunday the 21st now. My logic on it is that it was just simply not meant to be. I could of gone to Paris today and took my chances, but looking at the omens and listening to my heart I decided to leave it a few days. When something is meant to be the whole universe conspires to its success and vice versa. It is important to read the signs.
Everything is ready and I leave for London in a few hours. I have accepted and finalised the instructing contract in Southern Ireland and I leave for that on the 14th Feb, Valentine’s Day, how romantic. In
the meantime I have an alpine voyage of discovery to tackle, winter time alps, nasty, solo as usual to boot.
January 17th 2002, Kidderminster, England, 21:27
What a day. I went to Birmingham yesterday evening and found I was 24 hours behind on all my connections to Slovenia. I decided to go to London anyway to see if I could sort things out, but, no, no good. The trip has been delayed until Sunday the 21st now. My logic on it is that it was just simply not meant to be. I could of gone to Paris today and took my chances, but looking at the omens and listening to my heart I decided to leave it a few days. When something is meant to be the whole universe conspires to its success and vice versa. It is important to read the signs.
January 19th 2002, Kidderminster, England, 12:22
I have spent the past days reading mostly, brushing up on my Russian. The second attempt at the Slovenian trip starts tomorrow. It was for the best I guess as the Alps in winter time are not a place that forgives
mistakes easily and if I was making such huge mistakes so early on in the trip then maybe it was just as well that it got delayed. It has given me a few days to get my thoughts in order and get back on the ball. Money will be extremely tight now though, and the trip will have to go bang on the nose for there is no
margin for error any more. Financial or otherwise.
January 20th 2002, en route to Birmingham, England, 10:38
I’m on the train heading into Birmingham. The voyage is attempted for the second time, hopefully with more success. A very peaceful day today meditating, reading, working out, chilling. I have this feeling that it is going to be a very testing couple of weeks.
January 21st 2002, en route to Milan, 08:33
It’s been quite a ride so far. Some guy kept talking to me in the Birmingham waiting room. He wasn’t waiting for a coach he told me, just biding the time away. Why? I wonder? I met a couple on the London to Paris jaunt, Roger and Lynn I think, real nice. They were both psychologists which was rather unnerving but they made the trip much more interesting, although I often got the impression I was being analysed. I am in an auto route pit stop at the moment, somewhere, anywhere in France. I am just looking forward to arriving and crashing out now, I’m very tired as it’s nearly impossible to get to sleep on the coaches.
I have spent the past days reading mostly, brushing up on my Russian. The second attempt at the Slovenian trip starts tomorrow. It was for the best I guess as the Alps in winter time are not a place that forgives
mistakes easily and if I was making such huge mistakes so early on in the trip then maybe it was just as well that it got delayed. It has given me a few days to get my thoughts in order and get back on the ball. Money will be extremely tight now though, and the trip will have to go bang on the nose for there is no
margin for error any more. Financial or otherwise.
January 20th 2002, en route to Birmingham, England, 10:38
I’m on the train heading into Birmingham. The voyage is attempted for the second time, hopefully with more success. A very peaceful day today meditating, reading, working out, chilling. I have this feeling that it is going to be a very testing couple of weeks.
January 21st 2002, en route to Milan, 08:33
It’s been quite a ride so far. Some guy kept talking to me in the Birmingham waiting room. He wasn’t waiting for a coach he told me, just biding the time away. Why? I wonder? I met a couple on the London to Paris jaunt, Roger and Lynn I think, real nice. They were both psychologists which was rather unnerving but they made the trip much more interesting, although I often got the impression I was being analysed. I am in an auto route pit stop at the moment, somewhere, anywhere in France. I am just looking forward to arriving and crashing out now, I’m very tired as it’s nearly impossible to get to sleep on the coaches.
January 22nd 2002, Udine, Italy, 18:33
I’m very, very tired. I have not slept in nearly 60 hours. I did not stay long in Venice although it was nicer than last time I saw it, with a cold icy atmosphere rolling over the waters. Ferries and strange inanimate
objects appearing and disappearing in the mists giving it an ethereal feel. I still inevitably got overcharged for something, my taxi fare this time. I have been in Venice a few hours now and am catching a train in a couple of minutes that will take me to Tarvisio on the Italian/Slovenian border by tonight. I
need to crash soon, truly knackered. There is a worrying appearance of snow even in the lowlands of Italy, what goes on?
January 23rd 2002, Kranjska Gora, Slovenia, 13:10
A good night’s sleep last night even though it was well into the minus figures; I crossed the border this morning and got my passport stamped. Last time I found the security unbelievably lax, but this time I got asked lots of questions by lots of patrols and border guards – September 11thmaybe? Kranjska Gora
is much busier now than back in August, coachloads of skiers, my guess is that it will be much quieter further into the mountains where it is simply too rugged to ski. The place is as stunningly beautiful as ever, Kranjska Gora will always be an inspiring place for me. A dangerous, untamed beauty captures the very
essence of its mountains. It is a humbling place to be.
I’m very, very tired. I have not slept in nearly 60 hours. I did not stay long in Venice although it was nicer than last time I saw it, with a cold icy atmosphere rolling over the waters. Ferries and strange inanimate
objects appearing and disappearing in the mists giving it an ethereal feel. I still inevitably got overcharged for something, my taxi fare this time. I have been in Venice a few hours now and am catching a train in a couple of minutes that will take me to Tarvisio on the Italian/Slovenian border by tonight. I
need to crash soon, truly knackered. There is a worrying appearance of snow even in the lowlands of Italy, what goes on?
January 23rd 2002, Kranjska Gora, Slovenia, 13:10
A good night’s sleep last night even though it was well into the minus figures; I crossed the border this morning and got my passport stamped. Last time I found the security unbelievably lax, but this time I got asked lots of questions by lots of patrols and border guards – September 11thmaybe? Kranjska Gora
is much busier now than back in August, coachloads of skiers, my guess is that it will be much quieter further into the mountains where it is simply too rugged to ski. The place is as stunningly beautiful as ever, Kranjska Gora will always be an inspiring place for me. A dangerous, untamed beauty captures the very
essence of its mountains. It is a humbling place to be.
January 24th 2002, Lubljana, Slovenian capital, 17:56
Wow, what a day. What did I say earlier about my unpredictability being scary sometimes? I woke up to find the mountains in white out snow storm conditions and thought it suicidal to proceed with the planned solo route of last year, so I hitch hiked to Lubljana, the Slovenian capital. On the way this woman told me about this ice climbing competition going on in Solcava Logaska in the North of the country on Saturday, so that’s where I’m heading. It’s Thursday night now, so I should be able to get there on time. I am in the main train station now, about to go north to a place called Kamnik. I am wet and fairly cold and another night sleeping rough isn’t appealing.
Wow, what a day. What did I say earlier about my unpredictability being scary sometimes? I woke up to find the mountains in white out snow storm conditions and thought it suicidal to proceed with the planned solo route of last year, so I hitch hiked to Lubljana, the Slovenian capital. On the way this woman told me about this ice climbing competition going on in Solcava Logaska in the North of the country on Saturday, so that’s where I’m heading. It’s Thursday night now, so I should be able to get there on time. I am in the main train station now, about to go north to a place called Kamnik. I am wet and fairly cold and another night sleeping rough isn’t appealing.
January 25th 2002, Solcava, North Slovenia, 12:45
The contrasts of this life never cease to amaze me. I am in a nice hotel room in Solcava, relatively cheap. Had a shower! Last night was rough. I met some nice people here and I am looking forward to seeing the ice
climbing competitions tomorrow. I am even going to enter them as a competitor, however, I feel it would be wrong somehow to win as a lot of effort has been made by the locals, but it is a very easy set of routes. We’ll see. The scenery here is stunning, absolutely mind blowing. Valleys, mountains and rivers merge in the ice and clouds and it has a very remote feel about it. This is a side to Slovenia that I had not seen previously. This is turning out to be a wilder adventure than ever I planned it to be. Rock on!
The contrasts of this life never cease to amaze me. I am in a nice hotel room in Solcava, relatively cheap. Had a shower! Last night was rough. I met some nice people here and I am looking forward to seeing the ice
climbing competitions tomorrow. I am even going to enter them as a competitor, however, I feel it would be wrong somehow to win as a lot of effort has been made by the locals, but it is a very easy set of routes. We’ll see. The scenery here is stunning, absolutely mind blowing. Valleys, mountains and rivers merge in the ice and clouds and it has a very remote feel about it. This is a side to Slovenia that I had not seen previously. This is turning out to be a wilder adventure than ever I planned it to be. Rock on!
January 26th 2002, train from Novo Mester to Metljka, Southern Slovenia, 19:05
We’ll see? It’d be wrong to win? I got my ass kicked on the first route, first move, disqualified. I was so embarrassed I left early. As I was the only person from abroad, bar one lad from neighbouring Austria, everyone thought I had come to Slovenia just for the competitions and I was some ice climbing champion. Majorly embarrassing. So I left early and hitched into Lubljana, the capital, and then caught a train to Metlicka in Southern Slovenia, right on the Croatian border. I plan to cross into Croatia tonight and into Bosnia tomorrow. I have no plan, or objective, I’m just bimbling. I have never been this far away
from home and I find it quite exciting. I am very tired now though and my head is a mess. Thinking too much.
January 27th 2002, Northern Bosnia, 13:00
I hitch hiked the width of Croatia today. Mind blowing. The place is desolate, such a contrast from beautiful Slovenia. Every other house has been blown up, and bullet holes pock mark all the buildings. Bosnia is worse. I don’t know if it was a left over joke from the Bosnian war, but when crossing the border instead of saying ‘welcome to Bosnia’ it instead says ‘Good Luck!’, damn. Both the place and the people have a very threatening feel to them and to be honest I do not feel all that safe. Still, I am going to continue and see if I
can’t get to Sarajevo, the capital. I have absolutely no Bosnian or Croatian money, however, and speak no language they understand.
21:56, Bihac - This needs explaining. I am in a hotel… forcefully. I managed to hitch south to Bihac by dark and settled down for the night in an abandoned wreck of a house. Anyways, just as I was nodding off to sleep I heard voices downstairs and I woke up fully to find myself surrounded by torchlight and stern voices. They held rifles behind the torches, so I was very compliant. It was the Bosnian police, and they searched me before taking me down to the police station. I speak no Bosnian whatsoever, so things were not looking good. They sort of interrogated me in Slavic for a while and became increasingly frustrated. Eventually an English speaker came in and things sorted themselves out. He was good, a fellow climber, off to Mt Kilimanjaro tomorrow in the morning, he said, and showed me his summit flag. They became friendlier and told me the building I had been sleeping in was probably still mined from the war. They then drove me to this hotel, where I am now, except I don’t have to correct currency to pay for it, and I’m still not sure what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I got arrested or not back then. I think I handled myself incredibly well, considering, and stayed very calm. It always helps. People keep telling me how this was a war zone not so long ago, and ‘why do you come here?’ with an incredulous look upon their faces. The young appear very angry, and the old simply seem tired, dejected. I come here because I love to explore this world, not just the local hills, the frivolous pomp and materialism of Venice, or even the stunning beauty of Slovenia, but the darker and uglier side of the world also needs to be seen if I am to fully grasp the world in a wider context. I cannot content myself to stay safe in nice places and only read about Earths hell holes. To understand the greater scope of life I must go there and learn first-hand. But my Bosnian language consists of yes, no and thank you, so how can I possibly answer them? I cannot. It is hard enough to express such things to English people. This is turning out to be one rollercoaster of a month. Sarajevo tomorrow.
Bosnia’s Fine
Shell holes tear where eagles dared, what a bloody mare this world we share.
Desolation in escalation with mother nature going to hate you.
Ugly buildings, ugly land, ugly karma, ugly minds.
But maybe all a reflection of our own dejection and a personal misconception.
Poem by Adrienne written in Bihac, Bosnia, 27th January 2002
28th January 2002, Sarajevo, Bosnian capital, 21:35
Well, I’m in a hotel in Sarajevo, Southern Bosnia. It took a while for I did not leave Bihac until nearly 15:00, and the first few hotel rooms I tried upon arriving were frightfully expensive, but I got this one for
30km (about £15). There are too many police for sleeping rough. The place itself is not as bad as I anticipated. There are lots of police and soldiers about, and I keep being reminded of its recent history by the strong UN and aid agency presence, but there is little outward sign of the past conflict here in the capital. Everywhere else I’ve seen is a completely different story. The rural areas are the worst with eight out of every ten houses blown up and destroyed and the few still inhabitable ones are riddled with shell holes. Sometimes whole villages we past were completely destroyed and uninhabited, like ghost towns. Every building I seemed to look at was the same… shell holes, no roof, door or windows and many of the bridges we past had also been destroyed. The land is devastated. I would occasionally see the odd burned our vehicle or plane wreckage starkly outstanding in the snowy scrubland. The rolling hills give way to wide flat valleys filled with urban settlements, except you know the buildings are but ghosts. In many places new houses are being built, or the old ones repaired, but none are yet complete. I went through such a mixture of emotions looking through my window, because that’s all I am, an outsider looking in. I felt distressed, compassionate, angry, confused, small, lucky, guilty, sad or maybe none of the above but a mixture of them all, compounded and
rolled around. I wondered where all the people had gone as our bus whirred along like a large mosquito, but then I remembered the flood of refugees to other countries. Surprisingly I felt little sympathy on this note. The fighting is over and it is relatively safe, the land is in ruins. They need to be here, rebuilding their shattered country, not applying for UK residency. (The editor, me now, cringes with embarrassment a such crude, naïve understandings on how the human mind, soul and society works, and the hidden mental anguishes hidden in memories. A young fool of logic I was). The roads were very quiet and the
distance huge – hundreds of kilometres, so the bus seemed the only sensible option in or out of Bosnia. My finances are incredibly low now and I will only just about scrape it home, hopefully. But I have seen hope today as well, and developed a new found respect for the UN who are doing great work here rebuilding the shattered land. With my large pack with my ice axes and crampons strapped to it I stand out in this land like a green tentacled Martian and I feel quite self-conscience sometimes. This place has expanded my mind and thought and I do not regret coming. My Buddhist beliefs have only been strengthened by what I have seen here, for if anywhere is in need of Dharma it is this place, but my cynical mind just simply cannot see that ever happening.
30th January 2002, Southern Croatia, 09:49
Yesterday was tough. I don’t know if it was the food, water or what but I was horribly sick all night on the 28th. I then caught the bus from Sarajevo to Bihac, and then hitch hiked to Velika Kladusa where I slept rough in the woods by about 02:00. I have been stopped by the police so many times now that it has become routine. ‘Let’s see your passport’ ‘what are you doing here?’ ‘Where are you going?’ ‘Why?’ ‘What do you do for a living?’ ‘Are you alone?’ I get fed up of it; and the dogs… the dogs, huge vicious things that run around loose in packs. I thought I was surely going to get savaged last night by a particularly nasty and determined pack (but I got arrested by a passing patrol just in time and thrown roughly into the dark rear of a lorry by armed men!). I am heading for Slovenia now, and then I’m not too sure to be honest. My inner energies are
pretty low at the moment.
31st January 2002, Marlibor, Northern Slovenia, 12:20
I did well yesterday, hitching and walking the entire width of Croatia and I am now in Marlibor on my way to Hungary. The bimble continues! I am really getting fed up of people looking at me and staring. Well, it’s not so much people looking at me but looking down upon me as if they have some sort of superiority over me to which they have no right to feel. It bugs me, but maybe I’m just paranoid. I am feeling stronger now than a few days ago. I did not eat for 48 hours after I was sick all night and I got little sleep, but I am
recovering now. A big blow is that I’ve lost my Walkman headphones and I am sustained a great deal by the music. Well, just keep rolling with it I guess.
Yesterday was tough. I don’t know if it was the food, water or what but I was horribly sick all night on the 28th. I then caught the bus from Sarajevo to Bihac, and then hitch hiked to Velika Kladusa where I slept rough in the woods by about 02:00. I have been stopped by the police so many times now that it has become routine. ‘Let’s see your passport’ ‘what are you doing here?’ ‘Where are you going?’ ‘Why?’ ‘What do you do for a living?’ ‘Are you alone?’ I get fed up of it; and the dogs… the dogs, huge vicious things that run around loose in packs. I thought I was surely going to get savaged last night by a particularly nasty and determined pack (but I got arrested by a passing patrol just in time and thrown roughly into the dark rear of a lorry by armed men!). I am heading for Slovenia now, and then I’m not too sure to be honest. My inner energies are
pretty low at the moment.
31st January 2002, Marlibor, Northern Slovenia, 12:20
I did well yesterday, hitching and walking the entire width of Croatia and I am now in Marlibor on my way to Hungary. The bimble continues! I am really getting fed up of people looking at me and staring. Well, it’s not so much people looking at me but looking down upon me as if they have some sort of superiority over me to which they have no right to feel. It bugs me, but maybe I’m just paranoid. I am feeling stronger now than a few days ago. I did not eat for 48 hours after I was sick all night and I got little sleep, but I am
recovering now. A big blow is that I’ve lost my Walkman headphones and I am sustained a great deal by the music. Well, just keep rolling with it I guess.
1st February 2002, Lubljana, Slovenia, 17:15
Urrrrr, where do I start? The attempt on Hungary was a disaster as well as utterly exhausting and dispiriting. I was not allowed to walk on the highway so I hitched to a smaller border town and tried to walk
across from there. I got completely lost in the dark, however, and eventually ended up back on the main road where I had started from. I tried hitching on the main road to get across the border but no luck, so I slept under a wet and dripping nearby bridge. I adopted the attitude taken before, Hungary was simply
not meant to be, but I was left feeling very demoralised. Today I have hitched a vast distance: Dolga Vas, Lendava, Murska Soborta, Maribor, Celje, Lubljana, although I caught the train from Celje to Lubljana. I am now sat on a train about to depart for Jessnice near Mt Triglav. One of my initial aims of this adventure was to sleep on the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland and Mt Triglav in Slovenia. I have done Nevis and hopefully tomorrow I’ll sleep on Triglav. Triglav is the highest summit in the Slovenian and Julian Alps. I think my
money will run out soon, who knows, I have been saying that for a while now though. I would also like to pop into Austria before I go home. I have to be back in Venice on the 8th, arriving in Kidderminster on the 9th. I hope I have the strength left in me to do Triglav, for I feel near exhaustion now. I am mentally drained too, however, I have achieved more than I ever dreamed possible. Live as you dream in your dreams. I have to admit that I’ve been missing home a little, or maybe just people, or stability, who knows;
something’s lacking.
2nd February 2002, Mojstrana, North West Slovenia, 12:40
Sat by a river. My head is… numb I guess. I feebly tried for Triglav but I just haven’t got the strength or motivation at the moment, so I turned around. The weather is perfect, beautifully sunny, but the mountain is almost three times the size of Nevis and after the last week I just can’t do it. Still, I feel like I’m wimping out somehow. I’m going to chill by the river in the sun I think, clean up, read, sleep.
3rd February 2002, memorial in the Kriska Sterna valley, Slovenia, 11:04
Well, I am back here. I never thought I would be. The sling and Karabiner I left here back in August in honour of the dead I nearly joined has been taken away. The passage I wrote in the logbook is still there though, saluting the dead. It reads:
“17th August 2001,
I feel for you my friends, my fellow mountaineers, for in the
past week I nearly became one of you. Rockfall, fall when abseiling, three of
the four placements failed, one saved me, just one. I too almost had my own
template here. I salute you, all of you. Our actions shall define us.”
It is a memorial to the dead. A porch with a stone alter with the names of the people who have died in the valley inscribed upon it. I laid tributes here last August when I had my climbing accident in the Kriska Sterna. Today I have laid some Buddhist prayers written on a sheet under a plant. It is a Catholic alter, but still. It brings back vivid memories being here and what troubles me is not that I nearly died but that I am still here, for it defies understanding. I now intend to shift back to Kranska Gora today, maybe sleep there, then head up into Austria for the final few days of the bimble. Four days of bumbling time left after today. Memories, memories.
Sat by a river. My head is… numb I guess. I feebly tried for Triglav but I just haven’t got the strength or motivation at the moment, so I turned around. The weather is perfect, beautifully sunny, but the mountain is almost three times the size of Nevis and after the last week I just can’t do it. Still, I feel like I’m wimping out somehow. I’m going to chill by the river in the sun I think, clean up, read, sleep.
3rd February 2002, memorial in the Kriska Sterna valley, Slovenia, 11:04
Well, I am back here. I never thought I would be. The sling and Karabiner I left here back in August in honour of the dead I nearly joined has been taken away. The passage I wrote in the logbook is still there though, saluting the dead. It reads:
“17th August 2001,
I feel for you my friends, my fellow mountaineers, for in the
past week I nearly became one of you. Rockfall, fall when abseiling, three of
the four placements failed, one saved me, just one. I too almost had my own
template here. I salute you, all of you. Our actions shall define us.”
It is a memorial to the dead. A porch with a stone alter with the names of the people who have died in the valley inscribed upon it. I laid tributes here last August when I had my climbing accident in the Kriska Sterna. Today I have laid some Buddhist prayers written on a sheet under a plant. It is a Catholic alter, but still. It brings back vivid memories being here and what troubles me is not that I nearly died but that I am still here, for it defies understanding. I now intend to shift back to Kranska Gora today, maybe sleep there, then head up into Austria for the final few days of the bimble. Four days of bumbling time left after today. Memories, memories.
4th February 2002, Felldkirchen, Southern Austria, 16:05
I am in Austria, although I don’t really know why. Bimbling I guess. I did a long walk this morning from Kranska Gora to the Austrian border and then down to a place called Hart. I tried hitching for hours, but no luck at all, so I gave up and sat down to read my book. Then this truck driver whistles at me and offers me a lift, so of course I take it. I hope the rest of the hitching is better otherwise I’m stuck here, with no money left to get myself out. The money has all but finally run out, so we’ll see what happens. Austria has not impressed me much so far, but maybe that will change over the next few days.
5th February 2002, Klagunfurt, Austria, 09:10
A really uncomfortable night. I slept rough in a forest near St Veit on a steep angles slope so that I had to wedge my feet up against the base of a tree to stop myself sliding. As always the mornings are very cold, the sun being the only warming factor and if it goes even for a moment then the temperature plummets. I got a hitch early this morning from a St Veit to Klagunfurt where I am now. I am going to look around for a bit and then head South to a town called Ferlach, and then who knows.
I am in Austria, although I don’t really know why. Bimbling I guess. I did a long walk this morning from Kranska Gora to the Austrian border and then down to a place called Hart. I tried hitching for hours, but no luck at all, so I gave up and sat down to read my book. Then this truck driver whistles at me and offers me a lift, so of course I take it. I hope the rest of the hitching is better otherwise I’m stuck here, with no money left to get myself out. The money has all but finally run out, so we’ll see what happens. Austria has not impressed me much so far, but maybe that will change over the next few days.
5th February 2002, Klagunfurt, Austria, 09:10
A really uncomfortable night. I slept rough in a forest near St Veit on a steep angles slope so that I had to wedge my feet up against the base of a tree to stop myself sliding. As always the mornings are very cold, the sun being the only warming factor and if it goes even for a moment then the temperature plummets. I got a hitch early this morning from a St Veit to Klagunfurt where I am now. I am going to look around for a bit and then head South to a town called Ferlach, and then who knows.
7th February 2002, Ugovizza Valbruna, Italy, 06:00
I’m very cold. Cold. Cold. I’m sat at the train station with some very cold ice tea and chocolate while a snow storm goes on around me. It is still dark. I’m trying to get back to Venice today. My sleeping bag has broken at the zip and it was too cold to sleep out the storm. I walked over the border yesterday afternoon and I got a lift from a guy delivering cigarettes to all the local Austrian villages, so I accompanied him all morning. I got a free coffee and donut into the bargain. I’m home soon I know. Very cold. I will simply have to wait out 24 hours in Venice, but I have done that before now although not in this weather. I don’t know if it is the cold of
the past week or sleeping funny, but the joints in my legs hurt a bit sometimes. It can’t be healthy for me, or doing me much good living rough like this. I’ve just been sleeping on the ground in my sleeping bag for just over a month now though an alpine winter and that’s a long time when you think about it. Very
cold!
14:50, Venice - This place… I feel like I’ve just stepped into a bubble of insanity. As I walk through the small, crowded alleys full of touts and merchandise I think of my travels through Bosnia and Croatia. It all made more sense back there than here, and part of me is almost scared, guilty or uncomfortable to admit that. I was much more comfortable with my surroundings and environment in the devastation of Bosnia than this. This oblivious consuming insanity by which I am now surrounded. I am no longer caring that I
look out of place, for I would rather, for to blend in with this crowd would be terrifying. I have been sustained the last few days by a single loaf of bread, soon stale, and some bars of cheap cooking chocolate which was actually really nice. Here a shop keeper just tried charging me the equivalent of £5 for a small slice of nutted bread. I am walking around finding myself disgusted, embarrassed and ashamed of the people and culture surrounding me, and the fact that I may be related to in in any way or form. The worst part is that I do not believe they see themselves as I do, although perhaps that is a mercy upon them. The goods on sale here are shoddy, expensive and totally meaningless. I walk around half hoping to see a Buddha or some Dharma for sale, some hope, but then I would be afraid of the tackiness that would inevitably surround it. Depth, this place has no depth or soul.
(Editors note but unbeknown to me I had just walked into the Mardi Gra festival).
I’m very cold. Cold. Cold. I’m sat at the train station with some very cold ice tea and chocolate while a snow storm goes on around me. It is still dark. I’m trying to get back to Venice today. My sleeping bag has broken at the zip and it was too cold to sleep out the storm. I walked over the border yesterday afternoon and I got a lift from a guy delivering cigarettes to all the local Austrian villages, so I accompanied him all morning. I got a free coffee and donut into the bargain. I’m home soon I know. Very cold. I will simply have to wait out 24 hours in Venice, but I have done that before now although not in this weather. I don’t know if it is the cold of
the past week or sleeping funny, but the joints in my legs hurt a bit sometimes. It can’t be healthy for me, or doing me much good living rough like this. I’ve just been sleeping on the ground in my sleeping bag for just over a month now though an alpine winter and that’s a long time when you think about it. Very
cold!
14:50, Venice - This place… I feel like I’ve just stepped into a bubble of insanity. As I walk through the small, crowded alleys full of touts and merchandise I think of my travels through Bosnia and Croatia. It all made more sense back there than here, and part of me is almost scared, guilty or uncomfortable to admit that. I was much more comfortable with my surroundings and environment in the devastation of Bosnia than this. This oblivious consuming insanity by which I am now surrounded. I am no longer caring that I
look out of place, for I would rather, for to blend in with this crowd would be terrifying. I have been sustained the last few days by a single loaf of bread, soon stale, and some bars of cheap cooking chocolate which was actually really nice. Here a shop keeper just tried charging me the equivalent of £5 for a small slice of nutted bread. I am walking around finding myself disgusted, embarrassed and ashamed of the people and culture surrounding me, and the fact that I may be related to in in any way or form. The worst part is that I do not believe they see themselves as I do, although perhaps that is a mercy upon them. The goods on sale here are shoddy, expensive and totally meaningless. I walk around half hoping to see a Buddha or some Dharma for sale, some hope, but then I would be afraid of the tackiness that would inevitably surround it. Depth, this place has no depth or soul.
(Editors note but unbeknown to me I had just walked into the Mardi Gra festival).
8th February 2002, Venice bus station, Italy, 08:00
Why do I always seem to be freezing cold when I write these entries? My fingers are so numb that I can barely write at all. A hard night with me sleeping rough at the bus station. My sleeping bag is broke,
sodden wet and hardly any good anymore. I got little sleep, but relief will come for in seven hours’ time I will board the coach for England and spending a few precious days pampering myself in food, warmth and all things nice before leaving for Southern Ireland on the 14th. I am hungry already but both my food and money ran out a while ago and I will probably not eat now until tomorrow evening.
It’s going to be a final endurance test I can tell.
10th February 2002, Kidderminster, England, 23:55
I am now back home. I was half starved when I got in so I eat a lot, but because I had not really eaten in a few days I threw it all back up again in a matter of hours. I am eating ok again now though. Getting home was an epic, which I thought it might be. I was very hungry, bored and tired inevitably, but there was more than simply that. After 5 hours to Milan, 13 hours to Paris, 7 hours to London, I then ran late and missed my Birmingham connection. I got a later one, but found that I am £165 overdrawn at the bank and that my account has been frozen. I will have to talk sweetly to my bank manager and try and sort it out, but either way, I found myself in Birmingham without enough money for the train. I opted for the honest approach and simply explained my position to the ticket collector before boarding and she let me on for free which was very kind of her. I have spent today cleaning my kit,eating, watching TV and preparing for Ireland. The bank is a blow and I will probably have to work for a whole month simply to break even at nothing, but still, it was worth it and I have no regrets. Although it is nice to be back and surrounded by warmth, food and comfort I am already itching and looking forward to the next adventure – Ireland.
Why do I always seem to be freezing cold when I write these entries? My fingers are so numb that I can barely write at all. A hard night with me sleeping rough at the bus station. My sleeping bag is broke,
sodden wet and hardly any good anymore. I got little sleep, but relief will come for in seven hours’ time I will board the coach for England and spending a few precious days pampering myself in food, warmth and all things nice before leaving for Southern Ireland on the 14th. I am hungry already but both my food and money ran out a while ago and I will probably not eat now until tomorrow evening.
It’s going to be a final endurance test I can tell.
10th February 2002, Kidderminster, England, 23:55
I am now back home. I was half starved when I got in so I eat a lot, but because I had not really eaten in a few days I threw it all back up again in a matter of hours. I am eating ok again now though. Getting home was an epic, which I thought it might be. I was very hungry, bored and tired inevitably, but there was more than simply that. After 5 hours to Milan, 13 hours to Paris, 7 hours to London, I then ran late and missed my Birmingham connection. I got a later one, but found that I am £165 overdrawn at the bank and that my account has been frozen. I will have to talk sweetly to my bank manager and try and sort it out, but either way, I found myself in Birmingham without enough money for the train. I opted for the honest approach and simply explained my position to the ticket collector before boarding and she let me on for free which was very kind of her. I have spent today cleaning my kit,eating, watching TV and preparing for Ireland. The bank is a blow and I will probably have to work for a whole month simply to break even at nothing, but still, it was worth it and I have no regrets. Although it is nice to be back and surrounded by warmth, food and comfort I am already itching and looking forward to the next adventure – Ireland.
11th February 2002, Kidderminster, England, 22:10
Another day of recuperation; I sorted out my trouble with the bank and have an official overdraft now. I also confirmed details of my contract in Southern Ireland and packed my bags so that I am almost ready to go. I have fully recovered now as far as sleep and food goes. Looking back through my entries I realise just how much I have left unspoken, the details and descriptions of the people I met and the stories and conversations we had. But then guess this is only a diary, meant to capture fragments of my personal thoughts and reactions and not a book or a narrative. I sometimes wonder why the hell I write these entries, for who the hell is ever going to read them? However, it is a comforting habit I guess and I have been keeping a diary for
many years now. Some very notable omitencies, however, have been as follows: the cross dangling from the windscreen in every car in Croatia, the story of the needle in Solcava, Northern Slovenia, where the area was once Austrian but the people hacked a path through the rock cliffs and into Slovenia. The area is indeed defined by impressive rock scenery and a local saying is that ‘when you pass the great needle you enter the Solcava area’. I forgot to write about the huge communist and Soviet monuments, stars and plaques which still adorn every town and city centre – why has no one removed them? Perhaps I expect too much from my diaries, after all, who’s going to give a shit?
Maybe I write these things to give the experiences, and hence in extension my own existence, meaning.
Scary thoughts.
Adrienne xx
Another day of recuperation; I sorted out my trouble with the bank and have an official overdraft now. I also confirmed details of my contract in Southern Ireland and packed my bags so that I am almost ready to go. I have fully recovered now as far as sleep and food goes. Looking back through my entries I realise just how much I have left unspoken, the details and descriptions of the people I met and the stories and conversations we had. But then guess this is only a diary, meant to capture fragments of my personal thoughts and reactions and not a book or a narrative. I sometimes wonder why the hell I write these entries, for who the hell is ever going to read them? However, it is a comforting habit I guess and I have been keeping a diary for
many years now. Some very notable omitencies, however, have been as follows: the cross dangling from the windscreen in every car in Croatia, the story of the needle in Solcava, Northern Slovenia, where the area was once Austrian but the people hacked a path through the rock cliffs and into Slovenia. The area is indeed defined by impressive rock scenery and a local saying is that ‘when you pass the great needle you enter the Solcava area’. I forgot to write about the huge communist and Soviet monuments, stars and plaques which still adorn every town and city centre – why has no one removed them? Perhaps I expect too much from my diaries, after all, who’s going to give a shit?
Maybe I write these things to give the experiences, and hence in extension my own existence, meaning.
Scary thoughts.
Adrienne xx